


Too Long to the Weekend

by in_too_deep_geronimo



Series: WILD: Phan Songfics [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, Songfic, fuck im so tired, insecure!dan, not beta'd sry, thanks @troyesivan, this will be a series so watch out, wild inspired me so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4761824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_too_deep_geronimo/pseuds/in_too_deep_geronimo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simple, just take a break from thinking about all of the wondrous qualities of Phil Lester and what it would be like to live with him full time, alone from either of their parents and the rest of the world.<br/>A minute into ‘Helena’ later, Dan realizes the flaw in his plan; he’s had a glimpse of Phil and while appreciative of what he’s been allowed, Dan is greedy to see the entire masterpiece.</p><p>Songfic inspired by Troye's new EP WILD, based on the song WILD and is about 2009 phan<br/>(aka Maggie tries writing for the phandom for once instead of giving feedback)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too Long to the Weekend

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so uh, yeah, I'm Maggie. I usually comment on other people's works in the phandom until tonight I basically was like "fuck it I have school but who cares because I'm in the mood to do this now" 
> 
> ANYways, This is the first fic in a series of six I will be doing, all based on Troye's songs on his new fucking fantastic EP (I've been playing it nonstop for the last 4 days send help pls). I dunno why but my mind thought I should do a songfic series. Whatever, enjoy it~
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not know Dan and Phil, I am not Dan and Phil, We are not Dan and Phil, so all we really can do is speculate and hardcore ship phan (which is exactly what I'm doing). ALSO, ALL MUSIC/LYRICS ARE TROYE SIVAN'S. HE WORKED HIS LIL BOOTY OFF ON THAT EP AND YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT, ITS AMAZING, 10/10
> 
> This fic is based on the song WILD and is set in 2009
> 
> ALso (soz this is so goddamn long) this is not beta'd because I'm an impatient shit who posted this anyways and Alex will kill me but idgaf

“Oh my, excuse me!” Dan opens his eyes after being jostled by an elderly woman’s attempt to move about the train carriage and find a seat. He rubs his eyes and sees that she’s still having difficulties and despite being interrupted and easily irritated, he’s been raised to respect his elders.

“It’s alright, I’ll get up and you can have mine.”

“No, I couldn’t possibly—

“Really it’s fine,” he continues while picking up his backpack and duffel and shuffles over to a lesser crowded area to lean against a wall for the rest of the trip.

Dan knows that it doesn’t matter where he is right now, he could be locked in a dark room with the Blair witch and Samara and still be reliving the past three days of his life. He’s just visited his idol, AmazingPhil at his parent’s home in Manchester. Dan’s still not entirely convinced that the second he steps foot off of the train in Wokingham it won’t turn out to be a fever dream or hallucination. Regardless, he’s been living with Phil Lester for the past three days, Phil-motherfucking-Lester, and he smiles like a fool for the umpteenth time that hour just from that thought alone.

It still amazes him how one click on his mouse has brought him to this point; from this weekend he now knows incredibly intimate things about Phil that no one else does, and Phil’s seen parts of him no one else has ever seen.

The instant he got off of the train at Manchester Piccadilly station on October 19th, Dan was a bit overwhelmed with the bustle of the commuters and overall loud train sounds, but after searching the crowd for a minute and moving away from the platform a few meters, he saw Phil. He was wearing one of his signature plaid shirts and had his hair straightened to perfection. Dan shut his eyes for a moment and took in a short breath of air before heading towards him.

He remembers making eye contact with the other’s ever-changing eyes (that day they were greenish-blue) and reminding himself to just focus on one thing otherwise he’d throw up from nerves.

He remembers watching the corners of his eyes crinkle as Phil smiled and briefly shouted “Dan!” and he remembers feeling his body flush red with the attention commanded to him.

Mostly, Dan remembers the warmth of Phil’s arms around him for the first time and how he whispered “You’re real” in shock and managed to hug back just as tightly. All the DMs, all of the late night Skype sessions became nothing in comparison to being with him in the flesh.

He feels the train lurch as it carries him back home, away from his amazing Phil. Fiddling with the ear buds of his iPod in a feeble attempt to untangle them, he starts to think of when he can visit Manchester again. Dan shakes his head to try and clear his mind of Phil. For Christ’s sake, he just got out of a three year relationship that went on one year too long to try and repair differences: Dan’s no amateur in the pain of unequal love and after last time he needs to be extra cautious to not get hurt again. He knows that Phil would never hurt him on purpose, but it’s not the intent that matters right now, just that he stays out of anything that could potentially become problematic.

Shoving the white earbuds into his head, he tries to run his fingers through his hair only to snag them in a tangle due to his natural Hobbit hair that Phil insisted he leave with. Momentarily scowling at the reminder of Phil’s presence in his decisions, he quickly selects his music and tries to will away any lingering thoughts related to Phil. Simple, just take a break from thinking about all of the wondrous qualities of Phil Lester and what it would be like to live with him full time, alone from either of their parents and the rest of the world.

A minute into ‘Helena’ later, Dan realizes the flaw in his plan; he’s had a glimpse of Phil and while appreciative of what he’s been allowed, Dan is greedy to see the entire masterpiece.

 

x-X-x-X-x

_Trying hard not to fall_

_On the way home_

_You were wearing me down_

x-X-x-X-x

 

He’s been home from Phil’s for two days now, currently at his job. They’ve communicated since Manchester and Dan is pretty sure he managed to push any thoughts of a romantic relationship with Phil out of his mind. That is, until he drops a crate of oranges in the ASDA stockroom after being reminded of a particular moment.

-x-

_They had begun to wrap up the filming of Phil is not on fire and Dan wanted to show everyone that he is capable of enjoying life with a message at the end._

_“This has been the most fun I’ve ever had—_

_He got cut off by Phil tackling him to the ground and is pushed down with a thud upon impact from their collective weight. Dan felt Phil shift his weight on top of him and expected to be getting up in a second._

_“Phil, what the hell was that, like what the actual fu—_

_He gets interrupted in the middle of his banter by Phil’s intense stare and suddenly became fully aware of the fact that he’s been effectively pinned down by him. There had always been sexual tension between the two, ever since the first Skype video call and they saw for sure that neither of them were being catfished by the other. The visit had only furthered the tension until then when Dan had two options, to either shove Phil away and try to play it off as a joke or to have the ultimate #YOLO moment and reach up and kiss him. Against his better judgment, he leaned up and brushed his lips against Phil’s slowly, as if asking if this was his end goal this whole time, to seduce Dan. A second passed without any response on Phil’s part and he felt himself become hot with embarrassment and frustrated tears sting his eyes. He shut them and his inner monologue kicked in. ‘Yeah, way to go, Dan. You thought someone would ever actually like you for being you, totally and completely you? All you’ve done now is fuck up what could’ve been the best friendship in your li—’_

_All thoughts stopped when he felt a gentle exhale directly over his closed lips. His eyes flew open in disbelief to see Phil leaned down overtop him, a questioning look in his eyes that waged war with the consuming desire also present. Dan leaned up yet again to catch Phil’s lips between his own, and wrapped his arms around him to bring him closer, slotting their hips together. There were no fireworks, or sudden sparks; it was more like a soft burn that slowly intensified the longer they kissed until Dan felt like all of his nerve endings were frayed from extreme pleasure._

_A strong twenty minutes passed, when they broke apart because Dan’s belt was digging into his stomach from Phil being on top of him. He looked up as Phil pushed himself back and sat atop him, feeling hazy from the build-up without proper release. There was a beat of silence until Phil opened his bruised lips to say, “We’ll have to edit that bit out.” Dan huffed out a laugh, “Oh, is that all you got from what just happened? We’ll have to edit that part out later?!” He felt Phil fully get off of him and watches him walk over to the camera to turn it off. He can’t be sure, but he thinks he heard Phil mutter in response, “That and a hard-on.”_

-x-

It isn’t the memory itself that causes his brain to short wire and drop the oranges but the memories that were made after that specific one. Dan never has sex after the first date as a rule based on the principle of it having more meaning to him than a quick fuck, far more emotions and love and less about trying to rid himself of excess horniness.

That’s not to say that he and Phil didn’t do anything; just nothing as intimate as actual sex. A few handjobs here and there and an attempt at a blow job in the shower that ended up with both slipping and falling on the hard tiles, that’s all.

Dan’s not afraid of the intimacy of sex, just what follows, suddenly there’s expectations and he doesn’t like having to live up to what other people expect because he doesn’t want them to be disappointed in him. What really scared him about Phil though, was that he genuinely believed that he would love whatever Dan gave him no matter what. He’s not used to actual unconditional love, only well-meaning false promises.

As he feels the crate leave his hands from an intense want to have even just Phil’s presence, Dan can’t help but to realize that maybe it would be simpler and best if he succumbs to Phil’s carefree charm that contrasts with his own hidden anxiety and existential thoughts.

 

x-X-x-X-x

_Kissing up on fences_

_And up on walls_

_On the way home_

_I guess it’s all working out, now_

x-X-x-X-x

 

Dan feels like a failure. Most of his friends from school have moved away to start their first year of Uni, while Dan stays living in his parent’s house and borrows their car to get to and from work every day. Even Phil, his best friend and maybe lover who supports him unconditionally, has got a degree from University and is working on another one now. He shakes his head to try and get rid of the negative thoughts surrounding him. Dan needs Phil, he hasn’t seen him in person for at least a month now, so he chooses the second best option: what would Phil say? Knowing him it’d be something like, “Dan, you’re so smart, look at your A levels. You’re probably smarter than the rest of us lot who’ve decided to immediately throw ourselves into more school because you’re making money and trust me, student loans are a pain in the ass. Now come on, quit being a walrus tusk and come beat me at Mario Kart, yeah?”

 _God_ , Dan misses him.

Fact of the matter is though, Phil isn’t there. In the past few days alone, Dan’s been hit pretty rough at work lately. Since the orange incident, ASDA has had him on probationary status, meaning that if he makes it to the end of the month without any problems, they’ll still employ and pay him. However, because Phil is absent to talk to without the aid of a computer screen, they’ve been staying up super late and having extra long Skype calls, which make Dan incredibly tired for work the next morning and cause him to fall asleep in the stockroom.

One day after a record setting seven hour call, Dan is so sleep deprived he can barely open his eyes. He knows that if he wanders off to find a place to sleep no one will come looking for him because they don’t give a shit about what he does. After double checking that he won’t be missed, he stealthily runs up stairs that lead to the conference rooms and a few offices.

He comes across an empty office and climbs underneath the desk to finally shut his eyes and be dead to the world for a few hours. Dan wakes up to lights being switched on and his name being shouted by coworkers as they look for him. _Shit._ Scrunching up his long legs as best he can, he prays to whatever being is out there that they won’t see him.

Footsteps clamber through the hallway until they stop right outside the door of Dan’s sleeping office. The door handle begins to turn and under his breath he whispers “See, that’s why I don’t believe anything is up there to protect me!”

Lights flicker on and they make him squeeze his eyes shut in reaction to both the harsh brightness and the harsh reality that he’s been found out. His manager stares at him laying in the fetal position with annoyance.

“Dan Howell?” She asks, even though the black pile of limbs on the ground is clearly him.

“…Yes…?” He opens his eyes and squints up at her to see the glare she gives in return. “I’m…I’m probably fired, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, you are. But if it’s any consolation it means you’re getting your paycheck today instead of next week.”

He sighs and pushes himself off the ground and gives her a weak smile.

She fills out all of the paperwork to terminate his employment and hands him his last paycheck. Dan wearily takes it and begins to shuffle over to the car, the only thought consistently circulating around his mind being _“You’re such a disappointment and a waste of potential.”_

He would give literally anything to get a hug from Phil right now.

 

x-X-x-X-x

_‘Cause there’s still too long to the weekend_

_Too long till I drown in your hands_

_Too long since I’ve been a fool_

x-X-x-X-x

 

After coming clean to his parents a week later that he was fired from his job instead of driving to a park a city away and sitting there for six hours like he’d done before, Dan’s realized that even though the job was shitty, the pay grade of working at ASDA was high. He has a rather full bank account and decides to utilize it in the form of visiting Phil in Manchester. Phil’s been talking about visiting Berkshire to see Dan, but he always objected because he didn’t want to deal with his parent’s potential opposition to Phil.

Dan wants to surprise Phil, but also wants to be sure he won’t be interrupting anything else going on in Phil’s life, so he DMs him.

@danisnotonfire: hey philllllll :]

@amazingphil: Hi Dan!!! ^_^ How have you been lately?

@danisnotonfire: i’m doing ok, tired i guess

@danisnotonfire: so I was wondering if you were doing anything this weekend??

@amazingphil: Just ok? Aw I hope you feel better then

@amazingphil: No, I’m not doing anything. Are yoU COMING TO VISIT???????? :D

@danisnotonfire: no, i wish haha

@amazingphil: I wish you were too! Hopefully soon. Why were you asking then?

@danisnotonfire: i was thinking we could have an extra long skype call on friday

@danisnotonfire: you know, to make up for how i can’t visit right now

@amazingphil: Dan, you know me. I don’t have a life. YOU are my life. ;]

@danisnotonfire: see this is why you don’t have friends, phil

@amazingphil: Rude. Treat senpai with a little respect here

@danisnotonfire: whtvr, nerd. talk to you later?

@amazingphil: Same time? Yeah that works for me

@danisnotonfire: same time.  cool ill skype you later

 

In between answering Phil, Dan’s been switching between the tabs of Twitter and the train station website. He ends up booking the tickets for a week instead of just the weekend and bites his left thumbnail while waiting for the crap internet at his house to load the confirmation page.

When the ticket pdf finally loads, he prints them out and holds them in the glow of his laptop screen. He smiles in anticipation of seeing Phil’s shock but also doubts whether or not he’ll want to hang out with such a disappointment. Dan knows that Phil is too nice to brush off whatever they did last time he visited as just being sexual release, but he’s concerned that he’ll be falling headfirst into another one-sided relationship.

Two days later he boards the train leaving Wokingham for Manchester-Piccadilly Station with the same backpack as before and a slightly larger and more bulging bag. Dan’s riding in the economy section, not wanting to spend all of his money in one go. He’d rather see Phil many times and suffer through four hours in an uncomfortable chair with too little legroom than to go first class but only be able to see him four times before he’d have to start looking for a new job to fund his obsession with Phil.

Watching his town grow smaller and smaller with every minute that passes, Dan is finally able to breathe easy and escape the confines of preconceived notions and idealistic expectations knowing that Phil is at the end of his journey.

 

x-X-x-X-x

_Leave this blue neighbourhood_

_Never knew loving could hurt this good_

_And it drives me wild_

x-X-x-X-x

 

He’s been leaving hints the past few days for Phil, to see if he guesses what Dan has planned but so far it seems that Phil won’t be the next Sherlock Holmes. Dan’s forgotten how hard it really is to stay occupied for four hours straight, so he scrolls through photos from the last time they got together on his phone and he relives that first meeting in the station and wonders how this one will go. Will they run into each other’s arms? Will they kiss? Will it just be an awkward handshake???? Dan doesn’t know and as someone who likes knowing the outcome of events before they happen, his contemplation sends him into a spiral of potential scenarios, specifically ones with negative results.

The train stops at Manchester finally and Dan’s excitement has almost completely been overtaken by nerves. Stepping out onto the platform with his bags as before, he scans the crowded station for Phil, but doesn’t see him. He texted him earlier to go to the station for memories’ sake and look around, maybe vlog it for Dan to see later to get him to the station without being super suspicious.

Dan’s staring at Phil’s contact info on his phone, trying to decide if he should call him and ruin the surprise because honestly it’s been twelve minutes now and he doesn’t want to be stuck at the train station all night, or worse, resort to calling Phil’s mum to pick him up. He’s going over the pros and cons of either when he hears Phil’s confused, “…Dan?”

He whips his head around to find Phil as fast as possible.

Incredible. This is why he loves Phil Lester. Loves? What the fuck, since when? Maybe it’s love, maybe not, either way Dan is definitely feeling something positive towards Phil right now.

He’s wearing the same outfit he wore when he picked Dan up the first time.

Phil pushes his way through people despite his shock of seeing Dan, while Dan stands there frozen in fear of what he’ll react with. He grips Dan’s arm and squeezes it lightly to get his attention.

“Dan, are you okay? Look at me please, Bear…please. I have to know that it’s actually you.”

He looks up into Phil’s eyes and reaches up to put his hand on top of Phil’s to help prove that he is, in fact, actually there. Phil’s eyes look back and now that the initial shock of Dan being there is gone, all he can see is the blackness of Phil’s pupils and how blown with lust they are. Wow, okay. Last time wasn’t just a one-time thing, or at the very least, he’s thirsty as fuck.

Dan inhales sharply and his exhale is ragged. He’s missed him so goddamn much and realizes that they can’t spend that much time apart from each other again. The comfort of his physical touch is too much of a necessity that he’s pretty sure he’ll die without it, or at the very least, spiral into depressed bouts for extended periods of time.

A lady behind them clears her throat and they both realize that this moment is too intimate for the public setting of a train station. Phil wordlessly grabs one of Dan’s bags and takes his hand in the open one and interlaces their fingers.

Staring down at their combined hands and then back up at Phil, he knows that this was the right decision to have made and that they’re definitely something, he’s just not sure what yet.

 

x-X-x-X-x

_Cause when you look like that_

_I’ve never ever wanted to be so bad_

_It drives me wild_

_You’re driving me wild, wild, wild_

x-X-x-X-x

 

Instead of looking out the car window while Phil drives them to his house, Dan keeps his eyes on Phil or Phil’s hand that’s lightly gripping his thigh. He bites his tongue to try and tamp down any arousal he has yet; before anything else happens he wants to establish what the hell this relationship between them will be.

Phil breaks the silence first.

“How were you able to get so much time off of work? Not that I’m like, unhappy to see you or anything, I just was wondering how you made that happen is all.”

“Oh, uhmm…well,” Dan’s mouth goes dry. He had been anticipating this in a couple of days, not that he’d have to disappoint Phil from the start. “Well…I wasfired.”

“I’m sorry, what was that last bit? I didn’t understand you, you went too fast.”

Ugh. Really, Phil? Really?

“I was, uh, I was fired.” He finally chokes it out and although it’s not good news, he’s happy he got it in less than three times to say it.

“Oh. D’you want to talk about it at all?”

“Er, not really, if that’s okay.”

Phil looks rather concerned, so Dan tells him everything that’s happened since they last saw each other, even things they’ve already talked about on skype because it’s so much different to actually see people when you talk to them. They’re usually more unguarded.

They’re both laughing when he’s done sharing in the end, so Dan feels better for letting all of the pent up emotions and thoughts out. The more they talk, the more he notices how everything he does or thinks usually relates to Phil.

Dan thinks he can never ever tire of having Phil by his side.

 

x-X-x-X-x

  _White noise in my mind_

_Won’t calm down_

_You’re all I think about_

x-X-x-X-x

 

After spending a good three days just lounging around Phil’s house and playing video games and ordering take away and having copious amounts of sex (what, he said he was a ‘no sex on the first date’ kind of guy, he made no mention on what the second date would be like), Dan thinks that they should have an adult-conversation and define what they are.

Friends with benefits?

A legitimate couple?

In a little under a minute, both have agreed that they’d like to be a couple, but if that doesn’t work out that they’ll remain friends no matter what. Dan never wants to consider what would happen to cause their relationship to fail, so he shoves that idea into a tiny box in his memories and tries to lose the box, pretend that it’s not even a possibility for them to split up.

They run into their first problem when they go out that night as a couple and Phil is asked to stop and take pictures with some subscribers to his channel. Phil panics at first for a second about how he should proceed after one of them asks who Dan is. Thankfully Dan comes up with a bullshit excuse in a matter of seconds that seems to satisfy them that looks like it is visibly painful for him to even say the words.

“We’re just friends, that’s all.”

The phrase is used over and over again until it becomes as familiar as Dan’s underwear showing, even when he wears a belt. Dan and Phil are hidden from the world most of the time except for their sanctuaries known as either the Lester House or the Howell Household.

They both hate that their rising fame is doing this to them, but they know that the alternative would be much worse and they’ll come out _soon_ , just not right now.

 

x-X-x-X-x

_Running on the music_

_And night highs_

_But when the light’s out_

_It’s me and you now, now_

x-X-x-X-x

 

Three months later and they’re still not ready to come out. Phil makes a promising argument that the time to do so is now, so if they ever get really famous it won’t be a big deal because they will have been famous through the support of people who support all aspects of their lives. Dan doesn’t really have an argument, only his fear of rejection.

It’s understandable of course, but Phil, with more life experience can tell it will only become harder as time passes to come out. For him it is almost completely about their comfort in their lives, not their comfort in society’s lives. Just because they share parts of themselves with the world doesn’t mean that those shared parts are them 100% of the time.

They have their first major fight that night and don’t make up before Dan leaves to head back towards Berkshire.

In a Skype call, they address the issue quickly, not quite an apology and not quite agreement. It’s been rather ambiguous lately on the subject between the two.

Phil and Dan love each other, but they don’t love the situation they’ve created for themselves.

 

x-X-x-X-x

_You make my heart shake_

_Bend and break_

_But I can’t turn away_

_And it’s driving me wild_

_You’re driving me wild_

x-X-x-X-x

 

Despite their current troubles, Dan thinks that no matter what happens, they’ll stay together until the end.

The scenery between Berkshire and Manchester blur together as both of them transport to and fro via the train to see each other as much as possible.

It may seem impossible and incredibly annoying at times, but the universe has never seen two soulmates so made for each other that they’ll always be together in some capacity and will always drive one another wild.

 

x-X-x-X-x

_Leave this blue neighbourhood_

_Never knew lovin could hurt this good_

_And it drives me wild_

_Cause when you look like that_

_I never ever wanted to be so bad_

_It drives me wild_

x-X-x-X-x

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, I'm going to sleep now because it's late
> 
> Comment, Kudos, Whatever 
> 
> *You know the drill, I'm just a smol farmer, taking care of my two meme bean sons as best I can*


End file.
